Activist Self Care and Community

Wanting to heal the world is sometimes an extension of wanting to heal ourselves.

We see the injustice and suffering around us and do what we can in our own forms of activism, and can grow despondent when constantly surrounding ourselves with images and facts of this brokenness in the world, growing even more despondent when our efforts don't appear to bear much fruit (at least not immediately, or at first glance).

Brokenness in the world can manifest as brokenness in ourselves.

We take to the streets with chants of, "Health care, child care, anything but warfare."

Self-care should be added to that list. Too many activists don't practise it, or enough.

There is a reason why depression and despair runs rampant in activist circles, and why it too often leads to tragedy. People who are passionate and creative can often lean towards depression and anxiety in the first place, and when you factor in the way that being a community organizer can consume one's life, emotions can be hard to deal with.

After the rally, when the placards are put away and the sound system is broken down, there is isolation. Maintaining a satisfying personal life is hard when you are being run in what seems like 15 different directions. Then there is the time necessary to spend working. It does not leave a lot of time to simply unwind, meditate, go to church, take a trip, or do whatever it takes to find balance.

Factor in personal problems (breakups, issues with parents), work problems, and a host of other day to day stressors, and the combination can be lethal.

I notice that many activists are spiritual - not necessarily religious, but have some sort of appreciation for something bigger than ourselves, something beyond the physical world. Working towards ideals of social justice is a way of putting that spirituality in action. But there has to be a way to put some of that energy that we send out into the world, back into ourselves.

It takes more than a warm bubble bath to soothe loneliness. And yes, even when you're surrounded by hundreds of like-minded, chanting peaceniks, you can still feel lonely. It takes more than watching a movie (or two; comedies of course) to erase thoughts that maybe what you're doing isn't going to mean a whole lot in the long run.

Healthy lifestyle choices, socializing (for non-activist purposes), and just doing things for ourselves takes time and effort - the bulk of which we usually reserve for our activism. But that is not where we make the biggest mistake.

Our biggest mistake is not reaching out to our comrades. We need to look after ourselves and each other. That is why it is called an activist "community." Pay attention to when you may not be feeling well, and for signs in others - which may often be subtle.

We won't be able to save the world if we can't save ourselves.

Of Umbrellas and Safety Nets: Health Care in Acute and Chronic Crisis

This past Friday and Saturday, a conference called Beyond Acute Care had speakers and panels discussing health care issues concerning the elderly, disabled, and other vulnerable citizens. The illustration of what is currently happening our health care system is something like this: there is an umbrella over top of this population, which takes care of most acute needs. However, when the need for care becomes chronic, the umbrella gets smaller and smaller, with more and more services needing to be paid for out of the pockets of the patients or their families.

These issues are of importance to everyone, regardless of age or health status. Many of us, if we are fortunate, will become senior citizens some day. With the health care system being so precarious now, worrying about what it will be like decades from now is justified. As well, life can change in an instant. There are those for whom an accident, a brain injury, or a serious mental illness suddenly took them off of their current paths and into the chronic health care system. As well, if you are like me, you may become a caregiver to an ill parent, taking precious time from your work time and social life to attend to her needs while being faced with decisions concerning what to do when the situation becomes too medically complicated to deal with, without some outside form of help - help which will likely come with a price tag.

The "umbrella" of which the organizers of the conference speak has another name: the safety net. One with a lot of holes through which the vulnerable fall. For example, an elderly person falls, breaks her hip, and has to be hospitalized. Her acute needs are taken care of: she gets a hip replacement, some initial physical therapy, and during her hospital stay gets medication she needs for the pain. However, due to her injury, she can no longer live at home, unassisted. She either has to get live-in help or move to a long-term care facility - neither of which are inexpensive options. Plus, she has prescription medications that, while subsidized because of her age, still cost a significant amount out of pocket for someone on a fixed income.

So really, when a medical situation goes beyond the need for acute care, things get quite precarious. Even within acute care, a person's finances can be stretched. Prescription medication is perhaps the best example of this. I had an ear infection requiring antibiotic drops a few years ago. The tiny bottle of medicine cost around $35. That is a lot of money for someone on a budget. People who have chronic conditions like MS have medication they have to be on for the long haul. Unless they have good private insurance from their employer (which is getting rarer and rarer these days) or have purchased insurance on their own, they are financially hooped.

Related to this are the ridiculous fees one has to pay to see a dentist, which is also not covered unless you have private coverage. Last year, I had to have two fillings, a check up, and a cleaning. The bill came out close to $1000. I don't have insurance, so the bill caused me quite a bit more pain than my cavities. It was also a reminder as to why I had not been to a dentist for five years. However, infections and abscesses originating in the mouth can lead to death. I can't understand why dental work is not covered by our health care system. Since we're talking about older people, they often need extra dental care and procedures like having dentures made for them.

Another issue affecting our health care system is the pay and treatment of Alberta Health Services Support Workers. The wildcat strike held by members of the AUPE at the Royal Alex and University of Alberta hospitals on February 16 was a wakeup call to many to these workers' conditions. Perhaps it is my OCD tendencies speaking, but I want the person responsible for sterilizing equipment for a procedure to be well-treated and well-paid. The very fact that over 60 elective surgeries had to be cancelled demonstrated the importance of these people to the proper functioning of the health care system. Respect them.

It is a government's job to make sure its citizens are healthy and protected. There is a provincial election around the corner. Pay close attention to what the candidates are saying about public health care. If anyone even breathes the word "privatization" - be afraid. Be very afraid. Because no matter how much they promise that the system will be arranged in such a way that everyone will have access, regardless of their financial situation, invariably it will turn into a situation where those who can pay will get treated first, and better. Instead, choose those who will make our public services a priority and put money where it is needed. After all, like closing speaker Maude Barlow (National Chairperson of the

Keep Alberta's Healthcare Public

On May 9, around 1200 Albertans descended upon the Legislature grounds to protest recent cutbacks and deregulations to Alberta's healthcare system. Many people bused in from out of town, and there was quite a number of seniors there. Photos from the event can be seen at RaiseMyVoice.com and Flickr. I also filmed the event but a little differently this time around - from the perspective of the stage facing the audience.

Senior's Action and Liaison Team (13:01)
Raging Grannies (8:11)
Diana Gibson, Parkland Institute (4:48)
Transgender Community (2:18)
Notre Dame des Bananes (3:25)
Brian Mason, MLA (6:30)
Hugh MacDonald, MLA (5:34)
Musical Finale (2:01)

My OCD Life

This past week was Mental Health Awareness Week in Edmonton. A friend of mine who is a fellow freelance writer wrote an excellent piece for the Edmonton Journal about her struggles with depression. I found it an inspiration to write something about my own journey with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. So here we go.

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Years ago, a few of my friends commented that if I ever wanted to change careers I should consider becoming a safety inspection manager at a chemical plant. Not that I actually have an interest in such a profession - rather, I have an uncanny talent for taking any situation, picking it apart, and listing point for point everything that can go wrong.

I don't have any particular interest in this profession. What I do have, is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. People who have OCD perform a series of rituals (compulsions) in order to relieve troublesome thoughts (obsessions). I am a washer and a checker, because my obsessions tend to center around germs and safety. My symptoms ebb and flow depending on the general stress level in my life as well as other health factors. Others fellow OCD-ers are counters - they feel something bad will happen if they do not count to a certain number under various circumstances. Some of us are also concerned with activities being done in a certain order. As I often joke, I don't have OCD - I have CDO. It's like OCD, except the letters are in their PROPER alphabetical order the way they are SUPPOSED to be!

Like with any mental illness, OCD carries with it a stigma. There is the social humiliation of being discovered. As much as I try to hide my habits, sooner or later anyone who spends enough time with me will witness me wash my hands a few times too many, repeatedly check that the doors are locked, whip out my bottle of hand sanitizer, or eat a sandwich with a knife and fork. Even those close to me get a good laugh from time to time at my expense, including a few who also have mental health issues. Which leads to another problem that is caused by my OCD - I tend to take things very personally and can obsess if I feel someone is giving me short shrift.

I know I am not the easiest person to get along with because the struggle in my head makes me have problems even getting along with myself. Then, there are the aspects that no one sees - the ones that live inside my brain. Ruminations on upsetting conversations, negative experiences, worrisome thoughts. The end result is me being grumpy, tired, and anxious much of the time. And frustrated - OCD is a neurotic condition, which means that when I am in the midst of a hand-washing spin (for example), I know I am being ridiculous - but I feel helpless in stopping it.

At the same time, having OCD comes with benefits. One of the key ways I live with OCD is working with it instead of fighting it. I try to divert my energy from rituals and worrying to more productive activities. As a result, I am a very productive person in a variety of areas. When I get involved with something, whether it be a new hobby, interest, activity, or relationship, I go at it with gusto.

OCD was a factor in my career choice, as being self-employed requires me to constantly be on my toes when looking for and managing the number of contracts I balance. My profession as a freelance writer, photographer, editor, and sometimes musician allows me to have a variety of work scenarios, locations, and contacts - no two days are ever the same. And, most importantly, it allows me to call my own hours. I don't have to face explaining to a boss about needing to take the day off because I am suffering from lack of sleep as a result of the broken record going through my head all night.

To be truthful, if I could magically erase OCD from my life, I don't think I would do it (as if that would ever even be an option). While I hate the effects of OCD when I am in a full flare of my symptoms, I would not want to walk away from the creativity and intensity of my life. OCD is part of what makes me who and what I am, so I may as well view it as a gift instead of a curse.