Showing posts with label articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label articles. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Article on Women and Activism
At the end of March, an article I wrote about the challenges of being a woman involved in activism was published by FLURT, a website for and by young women. Confessions of a Female Activist was part autobiographical and part inspired by my female comrades in the struggle.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Why I Ride
This is the time of year where I start riding my bike on a regular basis - or at least it was, until things took a chilly and snowy turn last night. In any case, I'll be back on two wheels once things settle a bit. Here is another one of my "Active Observer" editorials I wrote for Our Voice, this one from the June/July 2008 edition.
I have been an avid bicycle commuter for a number of years. Most of my riding takes place in the seasons where snow and ice do not render the ground too slippery for my comfort level. Still, I strive to get in quite a few months of two-wheeled bliss.
Sometimes I ride to get to work-related meetings and events, and sometimes I just hop on my 24-speed mountain bike and head to the River Valley, just for the fun of it. Cycling gives me the opportunity to get outside, get some fresh air, and get some much-needed exercise. It also gets me where I want to go, with reasonable speed and safety.
Cycling has taken on even more importance in my life through my involvement in the activist community. Bicycles and activism go hand in hand. Or, more accurately, bottom on seat. In addition to creating a more intimate interaction between myself and my surroundings, here are some reasons (both practical and radical) why two wheels are better than four:
Cycling is better for the environment. This one should be a no-brainer. As one of my favourite bicycle “bumper” stickers says: I get the equivalent of 1000 miles per gallon, and I don’t pollute.
Another no-brainer: it’s good for you. Fresh air. Exercise. The pleasure of wind blowing in your face while you watch people cooped up in their cars. A win-win situation all around.
A bike-centric lifestyle flies (rolls?) in the face of tradition. So many people associate bike riding with something little kids do. Seeing grown people riding around everywhere for utilitarian purposes (as opposed to performing tricks or racing) really shakes the dominant paradigm for these narrow-minded folks.
Cycling counters the materialism that runs rampant in our society. How? When I use my bike to take care of errands, I have to make some very conscious choices about where I am going to go, and what I am going to get. I can only carry so much and am limited by distance on any given trip. As a result, I buy less, spend less, and ultimately consume less.
Further to the point above, cycling saves a load of cash in the face of rising gas and oil prices. As well, I don’t have to worry about insurance or depreciation. The cost of the occasional repair or tune up usually comes nowhere near that of filling up an entire fuel tank on an average sized vehicle.
Of course, riding a bicycle everywhere, all the time, throughout the year is not a choice everyone makes due to various practical considerations. Even still, cycling can usually be incorporated into one’s lifestyle, assuming one is physically able to do so. Give up driving once or twice a week. Plan a weekly family ride through the River Valley. Ride, instead of drive, to errands of shorter distances. Bicycle-based lifestyles can build over time. Besides, it’s fun and addictive -- in a good way.
Paula is a freelance writer, editor, and photographer. She owns a driver’s license, but not a car.
I have been an avid bicycle commuter for a number of years. Most of my riding takes place in the seasons where snow and ice do not render the ground too slippery for my comfort level. Still, I strive to get in quite a few months of two-wheeled bliss.
Sometimes I ride to get to work-related meetings and events, and sometimes I just hop on my 24-speed mountain bike and head to the River Valley, just for the fun of it. Cycling gives me the opportunity to get outside, get some fresh air, and get some much-needed exercise. It also gets me where I want to go, with reasonable speed and safety.
Cycling has taken on even more importance in my life through my involvement in the activist community. Bicycles and activism go hand in hand. Or, more accurately, bottom on seat. In addition to creating a more intimate interaction between myself and my surroundings, here are some reasons (both practical and radical) why two wheels are better than four:
Of course, riding a bicycle everywhere, all the time, throughout the year is not a choice everyone makes due to various practical considerations. Even still, cycling can usually be incorporated into one’s lifestyle, assuming one is physically able to do so. Give up driving once or twice a week. Plan a weekly family ride through the River Valley. Ride, instead of drive, to errands of shorter distances. Bicycle-based lifestyles can build over time. Besides, it’s fun and addictive -- in a good way.
Paula is a freelance writer, editor, and photographer. She owns a driver’s license, but not a car.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Update on a Weekend of Writing, Music, Photos
Yesterday was a rare day for me. I actually relaxed and took some time for myself. I headed to a nearby cafe (on foot - it was too windy to ride) with a book I have been meaning to finish, and actually got through it. No marches, rallies, meetings, or events. Just me, a cup of chai, and The Shack.
My latest article for the Phoenix Multi-Faith Society is "A House of Understanding and Cooperation: The EMCN's Trinity Manor". I also wrote one about the Genocide Memorial Garden dedication ceremony I attended last week, but it hasn't been posted yet.
The Spring issue of Prairie Books Now is online and available to download. On Friday, we put the July/August issue of Boyle McCauley News to bed. The July issue of the SPURR has been delayed by a couple of weeks due to circumstances beyond our control. I spent part of yesterday doing some editing to make sure everything is fresh and timely when we hit print.
On Friday evening I took part in Critical Mass. June is Bike Month, so it's the biggest Critical Mass of the year. The weather held out until we started to ride at 5:30 in front of City Hall. Then, the sun went away and the wind kicked up. Fortunately, we made it through without anyone getting blown away. Here are some pictures. Afterwards, a knight in shining armour picked me up in his van, and we went to Edmonton's only Chinese drive-through at Panda Hut Express.
On Saturday I went back to the congregation for the first time in around two months. I gave the Torah homily, which was also featured on the UMJC's Torah study list and on their website. I also ended up playing guitar with worship, as apparently things have been a cappella as of late. I managed to tune my guitar to the piano.
What was especially thrilling about the service was that I met Sarah, Phil and Trish's new baby who was just born on Tuesday. I'm definitely getting to be more of a "kid" person. In fact, on Friday afternoon before Critical Mass, I helped a friend babysit a few of his grandkids - two girls under the age of five and a six month old baby. And apparently, there is a name for women like me: PANK. Professional Auntie, No Kids.
For lunch, I went to a new pho restaurant called Pho Hoang Pasteur. Then, it was off to Louise McKinney Park for Jazz in the Park, a free afternoon concert as part of Jazz City. In addition to the bands (which included local favourites Bomba and Alfie Zappacosta), there was food, a beer tent, and an instrument petting zoo where kids could check out and try the instruments. Needless to say, there were some interesting sounds coming from the pagoda. Here is a look. The act I came to see, and was not disappointed by, was Ndidi Onukwulu who is a female vocalist from B.C. performing a mix of jazz, blues, rock, soul, and worldbeat. I really enjoyed the variety in her sound.
As I approached the festival area, I was taken by an installation of an office cubicle sitting right there in the park. It was part of The Works visual arts festival, and certainly made me think about workplaces and office space.
So that is pretty much a summary of the past few days, if you add in a few coffees with friends, guitar playing, housecleaning, and learning to throw a football.
My latest article for the Phoenix Multi-Faith Society is "A House of Understanding and Cooperation: The EMCN's Trinity Manor". I also wrote one about the Genocide Memorial Garden dedication ceremony I attended last week, but it hasn't been posted yet.
The Spring issue of Prairie Books Now is online and available to download. On Friday, we put the July/August issue of Boyle McCauley News to bed. The July issue of the SPURR has been delayed by a couple of weeks due to circumstances beyond our control. I spent part of yesterday doing some editing to make sure everything is fresh and timely when we hit print.
On Friday evening I took part in Critical Mass. June is Bike Month, so it's the biggest Critical Mass of the year. The weather held out until we started to ride at 5:30 in front of City Hall. Then, the sun went away and the wind kicked up. Fortunately, we made it through without anyone getting blown away. Here are some pictures. Afterwards, a knight in shining armour picked me up in his van, and we went to Edmonton's only Chinese drive-through at Panda Hut Express.
On Saturday I went back to the congregation for the first time in around two months. I gave the Torah homily, which was also featured on the UMJC's Torah study list and on their website. I also ended up playing guitar with worship, as apparently things have been a cappella as of late. I managed to tune my guitar to the piano.
What was especially thrilling about the service was that I met Sarah, Phil and Trish's new baby who was just born on Tuesday. I'm definitely getting to be more of a "kid" person. In fact, on Friday afternoon before Critical Mass, I helped a friend babysit a few of his grandkids - two girls under the age of five and a six month old baby. And apparently, there is a name for women like me: PANK. Professional Auntie, No Kids.
For lunch, I went to a new pho restaurant called Pho Hoang Pasteur. Then, it was off to Louise McKinney Park for Jazz in the Park, a free afternoon concert as part of Jazz City. In addition to the bands (which included local favourites Bomba and Alfie Zappacosta), there was food, a beer tent, and an instrument petting zoo where kids could check out and try the instruments. Needless to say, there were some interesting sounds coming from the pagoda. Here is a look. The act I came to see, and was not disappointed by, was Ndidi Onukwulu who is a female vocalist from B.C. performing a mix of jazz, blues, rock, soul, and worldbeat. I really enjoyed the variety in her sound.
As I approached the festival area, I was taken by an installation of an office cubicle sitting right there in the park. It was part of The Works visual arts festival, and certainly made me think about workplaces and office space.
So that is pretty much a summary of the past few days, if you add in a few coffees with friends, guitar playing, housecleaning, and learning to throw a football.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
My Life in the Movies
Back in 2004-ish I wrote a series of articles for a start-up website called RelationshipWellBeing.com. The site was intended to bring together a number of relationship "experts" to discuss aspects of, well, relationships. Amidst the psychologists and therapists there was I, talking about being single, dating, and breaking up from a young woman's point of view. My work got a pretty positive reaction even if the website did not reach the heights its team aspired towards. The site, after years of inactivity, has since gone offline and as a result so have my articles. In an effort to keep them online I am going to be reposting them here. After all, this did start off as a blog about singles' issues. Just bear in mind that these articles are a few years old and as such may not reflect some current situations in society, the online world, and my life.
In this particular article, the movie examples I cite are somewhat dated (although still perfectly relevant to the points I am trying to make) and contrary to what I say about myself in the fist line, I have since become a movie buff.
My Life in the Movies
I’m not a movie person, so it was very much against my nature to watch two movies in one week: My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mambo Italiano.
I’ve been meaning to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding, for, oh, about two years now – but I just never got around to it. Commitment has always been a problem for me. Plus, after seeing trailer after trailer for it, and from the many comments of other people, I think I had the storyline pretty down pat. And I did. Not only because of the giveaway remarks, but when ethnicity and over-protective parents collide, I think I have the basic plot pretty well down pat.
It was this exact combination that was one of the reasons I delayed seeing the movie for so long. I was afraid that Toula’s overbearing father would remind me too much of my own parents. Coming from a traditional Jewish family, the pressure to marry someone of the same religion is pretty much the same as on her to marry someone Greek. I live that life everyday – I don’t have to see it on the screen, be it big or small. To me, that’s not entertainment – that’s masochism.
While seeing the movie was not as painful an experience as I had anticipated, I did not find My Big Fat Greek Wedding to be particularly funny. Don’t get me wrong – it was a wonderful hour and a half of pure escapist entertainment, which I could measure by the time that flew by with nary a bathroom break – but it also didn’t run particularly deep. It moved along too quickly, the characters were one-dimensional, and frankly, I found Toula’s parents’ turnaround at the end to be contrived. But then again, perhaps that’s just me putting my own baggage into the storyline.
And then, there was Mambo Italiano. Another hour and a half of a similar theme, except this time the family was Italian, and it was a gay couple at the center of the film. This movie was Greek Wedding on steroids – the parents were far more stereotypically smothering and guilt-inflicting than their Greek counterparts. The way the parents bickered with each other, the neurotic relatives, the emphasis on living up to the expectations of others – this resonated with me deeply. My mother always told me that Jews and Italians have a lot in common. We’re both very clean people, with strong family values. She would know – she grew up in a New York Jewish neighborhood, interspersed with Italians.
Both movies deal with breaking traditions, while Mambo Italiano digs far deeper into issues in approximately the same amount of time. I’m not gay, but I could easily relate to Angelo’s desire for his parents to accept him for who he is, while at the same time strive to be “normal” in spite of one’s upbringing (which, of course, was done with the best of intentions on the parents’ part). I laughed more deeply, and cried harder. It made me relive scenes from my childhood. And it was much cheaper than visiting a therapist!
The role of ethnicity in relationships has much to do with our families of origin. If your family did not care about whether or not you dated or married outside of your culture, then odds have it that you didn’t care either. But if preserving ethnic bloodlines, heritage, or simply carrying a deep-seated cultural pride into a romantic relationship was the expectation, the voices of our parents carry on with us, even if we choose partners of a different culture.
Traditions, customs, and even simple things such as how to spend mealtimes and holidays, are all things that need to be negotiated in relationships. Like in Greek Wedding, with marrying someone of a different culture comes the fear of not carrying on those traditions. And in Mambo Italiano, living a different lifestyle altogether is a threat to a cultural dynamic (as Angelo says to the anonymous therapist on the Gay Helpline, there is nothing worse for an Italian than being gay).
For me, being Jewish is an important part of who I am, mainly because it was important to my parents. Even when I at times am not being the model of a nice Jewish girl, I never forget where I come from. Which was not always functional (and still isn’t), and I am quick to poke fun at many of the stereotypical aspects of my parents and peers.
But when the cards are put on the table in a relationship, my Judaism is not negotiable. When a man cannot deal with my desire to join me as I maintain my sometimes tenuous connection to my heritage, I am gone. But to my parents, if a man is not Jewish, he is not acceptable, period -- even if he buys into my lifestyle hook, line, and kosher.
My parents and I are living examples of the changing attitude towards the role of ethnicity in relationships, from one generation to the next. To risk sounding too much like Reb Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof, on the one hand we have the desire to hold on to a part of ourselves, while on the other hand, we seek to separate from our families and forge our own identity. Choosing the “right” partner takes precedence over choosing someone with the same background as ourselves.
Movies like My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mambo Italiano are becoming the storylines for the lives of more and more people. Who knows? Maybe one day I will be starring in one of my own.
Paula E. Kirman is a writer, editor, and website designer in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Her website is: www.mynameispaula.com
In this particular article, the movie examples I cite are somewhat dated (although still perfectly relevant to the points I am trying to make) and contrary to what I say about myself in the fist line, I have since become a movie buff.
My Life in the Movies
I’m not a movie person, so it was very much against my nature to watch two movies in one week: My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mambo Italiano.
I’ve been meaning to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding, for, oh, about two years now – but I just never got around to it. Commitment has always been a problem for me. Plus, after seeing trailer after trailer for it, and from the many comments of other people, I think I had the storyline pretty down pat. And I did. Not only because of the giveaway remarks, but when ethnicity and over-protective parents collide, I think I have the basic plot pretty well down pat.
It was this exact combination that was one of the reasons I delayed seeing the movie for so long. I was afraid that Toula’s overbearing father would remind me too much of my own parents. Coming from a traditional Jewish family, the pressure to marry someone of the same religion is pretty much the same as on her to marry someone Greek. I live that life everyday – I don’t have to see it on the screen, be it big or small. To me, that’s not entertainment – that’s masochism.
While seeing the movie was not as painful an experience as I had anticipated, I did not find My Big Fat Greek Wedding to be particularly funny. Don’t get me wrong – it was a wonderful hour and a half of pure escapist entertainment, which I could measure by the time that flew by with nary a bathroom break – but it also didn’t run particularly deep. It moved along too quickly, the characters were one-dimensional, and frankly, I found Toula’s parents’ turnaround at the end to be contrived. But then again, perhaps that’s just me putting my own baggage into the storyline.
And then, there was Mambo Italiano. Another hour and a half of a similar theme, except this time the family was Italian, and it was a gay couple at the center of the film. This movie was Greek Wedding on steroids – the parents were far more stereotypically smothering and guilt-inflicting than their Greek counterparts. The way the parents bickered with each other, the neurotic relatives, the emphasis on living up to the expectations of others – this resonated with me deeply. My mother always told me that Jews and Italians have a lot in common. We’re both very clean people, with strong family values. She would know – she grew up in a New York Jewish neighborhood, interspersed with Italians.
Both movies deal with breaking traditions, while Mambo Italiano digs far deeper into issues in approximately the same amount of time. I’m not gay, but I could easily relate to Angelo’s desire for his parents to accept him for who he is, while at the same time strive to be “normal” in spite of one’s upbringing (which, of course, was done with the best of intentions on the parents’ part). I laughed more deeply, and cried harder. It made me relive scenes from my childhood. And it was much cheaper than visiting a therapist!
The role of ethnicity in relationships has much to do with our families of origin. If your family did not care about whether or not you dated or married outside of your culture, then odds have it that you didn’t care either. But if preserving ethnic bloodlines, heritage, or simply carrying a deep-seated cultural pride into a romantic relationship was the expectation, the voices of our parents carry on with us, even if we choose partners of a different culture.
Traditions, customs, and even simple things such as how to spend mealtimes and holidays, are all things that need to be negotiated in relationships. Like in Greek Wedding, with marrying someone of a different culture comes the fear of not carrying on those traditions. And in Mambo Italiano, living a different lifestyle altogether is a threat to a cultural dynamic (as Angelo says to the anonymous therapist on the Gay Helpline, there is nothing worse for an Italian than being gay).
For me, being Jewish is an important part of who I am, mainly because it was important to my parents. Even when I at times am not being the model of a nice Jewish girl, I never forget where I come from. Which was not always functional (and still isn’t), and I am quick to poke fun at many of the stereotypical aspects of my parents and peers.
But when the cards are put on the table in a relationship, my Judaism is not negotiable. When a man cannot deal with my desire to join me as I maintain my sometimes tenuous connection to my heritage, I am gone. But to my parents, if a man is not Jewish, he is not acceptable, period -- even if he buys into my lifestyle hook, line, and kosher.
My parents and I are living examples of the changing attitude towards the role of ethnicity in relationships, from one generation to the next. To risk sounding too much like Reb Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof, on the one hand we have the desire to hold on to a part of ourselves, while on the other hand, we seek to separate from our families and forge our own identity. Choosing the “right” partner takes precedence over choosing someone with the same background as ourselves.
Movies like My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mambo Italiano are becoming the storylines for the lives of more and more people. Who knows? Maybe one day I will be starring in one of my own.
Paula E. Kirman is a writer, editor, and website designer in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Her website is: www.mynameispaula.com
Friday, June 26, 2009
Why Am I Still Single?
Back in 2004-ish I wrote a series of articles for a start-up website called RelationshipWellBeing.com. The site was intended to bring together a number of relationship "experts" to discuss aspects of, well, relationships. Amidst the psychologists and therapists there was I, talking about being single, dating, and breaking up from a young woman's point of view. My work got a pretty positive reaction even if the website did not reach the heights its team aspired towards. The site, after years of inactivity, has since gone offline and as a result so have my articles. In an effort to keep them online I am going to be reposting them here. After all, this did start off as a blog about singles' issues. Just bear in mind that these articles are a few years old and as such may not reflect some current situations in society, the online world, and my life.
Why Am I Still Single?
It is the number one question that singles get asked, especially if you are over the age of 30: why are you still single? It has many variations, sometimes phrased as a comment, rather than a question – “I can’t believe a nice girl/guy like you is still single,” followed by the more direct and probing: “When do you think you’ll get married?”
As mature singles, we ask the exact same question –but not to each other. Rather, we ask ourselves in times of loneliness or frustration: “Why am I still single?”
Most of us have a timeline in which we expect or want to be married with a family. Thirty tends to be that magic number. For some, it may be 25, but 30 is definitely a marker on the far end of the map.
To be single, over 30, and a woman is not as big of a stigma as it was in years past. But it can still weigh on one’s mind. When I am asked that inevitable question, a few things pop into my mind.
I’ve always been one of these people with an uncanny sense of telling when there is going to be a problem, before it becomes a problem. If I ever went for another career, my friends have told me that I should go into disaster planning. Perhaps always being able to second-guess situations might be good for survival in a war or tornado, but it’s not necessarily good for survival in relationships. After all, no one is perfect. All of my friends who are “happily” married have their share of problems too. It’s just that they have learned to deal with them. Negotiation, and, frankly, love covers a multitude of quirks.
Yet my foresight into the characters of other people has earned me the brand of being mature beyond my years (I was told that in my early 20’s), and full of wisdom and discernment (buzzwords from my religious friends). Upon reflection, I have been either extremely smart, or extremely stupid. I know for sure that I have averted at least a couple of marital disasters. But there have also been situations where I think I may have just given up too easily.
Had I gone down any of the paths formerly before me, wearing a white dress, by now I would possibly be divorced, like a single parent – both of which also carry with them little of the stigma of our parents’ generation. My biological clock would not be ticking as loudly, because I would already have children. But in most ways, I would simply have traded one set of problems for another.
I don’t have a bitter ex trying to make my life miserable. I am not myself a bitter ex trying to pull the pieces of my life back together. Rarely have I ever seen a divorce where everyone involved parted ways peacefully. I have become a sounding board for my friends, a witness to the carnage of lives tearing apart.
However, the desire to avoid the War of the Roses just doesn’t seem to be an acceptable response to the barrage of socially awkward questions. Here are some witty repartees I have collected, courtesy of other mature, single adults:
Question: Why are you still single?
Answer: I don’t know – maybe you should ask my ex’s.
Question: Would you like me to fix you up with someone?
Answer: Why do I need to be fixed up? Am I broken?
Question: Don’t you feel your biological clock ticking?
Answer: I am not sure about that, but I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my rear end.
One of my favorites came in the form of a postcard that I saw at a gift shop. An older woman is asking a younger women why she isn’t married. “I forgot,” was her flip answer.
It really isn’t a joke. We are all so busy these days with advanced education, careers, social causes, hobbies and activities, and a variety of other distractions to occupy our time, that the void left by not having a significant other, really isn’t all that significant after all.
Yet there is always a part of a single person that worries he or she will never find lasting love. Being continually faced with questions that are awkward at best, and insensitive at worst, does not help single people feel comfortable with who they are. The focus should be on not how to answer these questions, but to discourage them being asked in the first place.
Paula E. Kirman is a freelance writer and website designer in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Her website is: www.mynameispaula.com
Why Am I Still Single?
It is the number one question that singles get asked, especially if you are over the age of 30: why are you still single? It has many variations, sometimes phrased as a comment, rather than a question – “I can’t believe a nice girl/guy like you is still single,” followed by the more direct and probing: “When do you think you’ll get married?”
As mature singles, we ask the exact same question –but not to each other. Rather, we ask ourselves in times of loneliness or frustration: “Why am I still single?”
Most of us have a timeline in which we expect or want to be married with a family. Thirty tends to be that magic number. For some, it may be 25, but 30 is definitely a marker on the far end of the map.
To be single, over 30, and a woman is not as big of a stigma as it was in years past. But it can still weigh on one’s mind. When I am asked that inevitable question, a few things pop into my mind.
I’ve always been one of these people with an uncanny sense of telling when there is going to be a problem, before it becomes a problem. If I ever went for another career, my friends have told me that I should go into disaster planning. Perhaps always being able to second-guess situations might be good for survival in a war or tornado, but it’s not necessarily good for survival in relationships. After all, no one is perfect. All of my friends who are “happily” married have their share of problems too. It’s just that they have learned to deal with them. Negotiation, and, frankly, love covers a multitude of quirks.
Yet my foresight into the characters of other people has earned me the brand of being mature beyond my years (I was told that in my early 20’s), and full of wisdom and discernment (buzzwords from my religious friends). Upon reflection, I have been either extremely smart, or extremely stupid. I know for sure that I have averted at least a couple of marital disasters. But there have also been situations where I think I may have just given up too easily.
Had I gone down any of the paths formerly before me, wearing a white dress, by now I would possibly be divorced, like a single parent – both of which also carry with them little of the stigma of our parents’ generation. My biological clock would not be ticking as loudly, because I would already have children. But in most ways, I would simply have traded one set of problems for another.
I don’t have a bitter ex trying to make my life miserable. I am not myself a bitter ex trying to pull the pieces of my life back together. Rarely have I ever seen a divorce where everyone involved parted ways peacefully. I have become a sounding board for my friends, a witness to the carnage of lives tearing apart.
However, the desire to avoid the War of the Roses just doesn’t seem to be an acceptable response to the barrage of socially awkward questions. Here are some witty repartees I have collected, courtesy of other mature, single adults:
Question: Why are you still single?
Answer: I don’t know – maybe you should ask my ex’s.
Question: Would you like me to fix you up with someone?
Answer: Why do I need to be fixed up? Am I broken?
Question: Don’t you feel your biological clock ticking?
Answer: I am not sure about that, but I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my rear end.
One of my favorites came in the form of a postcard that I saw at a gift shop. An older woman is asking a younger women why she isn’t married. “I forgot,” was her flip answer.
It really isn’t a joke. We are all so busy these days with advanced education, careers, social causes, hobbies and activities, and a variety of other distractions to occupy our time, that the void left by not having a significant other, really isn’t all that significant after all.
Yet there is always a part of a single person that worries he or she will never find lasting love. Being continually faced with questions that are awkward at best, and insensitive at worst, does not help single people feel comfortable with who they are. The focus should be on not how to answer these questions, but to discourage them being asked in the first place.
Paula E. Kirman is a freelance writer and website designer in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Her website is: www.mynameispaula.com
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