I returned to the worship team this morning. It was the first time in over a month I had attended services, let alone took part in leadership. Honestly, I have been praying about my role, and was looking forward to it. I feel very called to lead God's people into His presence through musical worship. I took joy in tuning my guitar, in practising, and finally doing the actual leading in front of the congregation (which was reduced in numbers due to the pastor's absence).
The last time I felt this was was in late December, when I ended up getting very sick after being exposed to an illness going around the congregation. Another member of the worship team kept turning around and coughing in my direction, all the while insisting that she, "refused to be sick." I was sick most of January, and so was my mother who came very close to developing pneumonia as a result. My father also got sick, but fortunately not as badly.
Today, something similar happened. The child of one of the leaders, a toddler, was coughing and sneezing repeatedly, while sitting on the lap of another member of the worship team - pointed straight at me. I am now praying for my health, and for my elderly parents. I don't know if this is some sort of attack, or if the Lord is trying to send me a message that perhaps, while I am called to music, this may no longer be the place for me. I know that if I speak to the pastor about this it will not be taken seriously, as the people in question were relations of his.
I want to worship. I need to worship. But I cannot repeatedly risk my health and that of my family, nor do I think that is what God intends. I would appreciate prayer for direction, health, and wisdom in this matter.
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